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From Ken Raggio's Book
"Long Winding Road"


Long Winding Road
A Very Personal Story

By Ken Raggio

Chapter 13
Separation Time

The godless period of our lives began in the fall of 1979 and ended in the fall of 1982. I was determined to make it on my own and never look back at God or religion. I was convinced that God did not exist and made up my mind never to allow religion to interfere with my life again. Those three years had been a living hell, tainted by much bitterness, anger, frustration, disillusionment and rage offset by an obsession to party our way into happiness. It never worked.

God never allowed me to succeed on my own. Every rocket I launched crashed and burned. It took a chain of humiliating defeats to force me to realize that I could never beat God at His game. Every time I got close to success, He pulled the rug out from under me.

It is best to fail when you are doing the wrong thing.

All these many years later, it is easy to see that what seemed like grievous curses in those days were really blessings in disguise. One of the greatest lessons in life that I have learned is this: It is best to fail when you are doing the wrong thing.

People who succeed while doing the wrong thing rarely get back to God. If I had achieved my driving ambitions to get rich and make it on my own, I would certainly be lost today, and it is very likely that I would already be in Hell, considering how riotous I was.

At any rate, the big financial loss of losing the restaurant had to be overcome before Dixie and I could really move forward with our lives.

As I mentioned earlier, the man I was buying the restaurant from brought me shocking news that he was filing corporate bankruptcy, and the property that I was operating in was being immediately foreclosed. I had worked 12-16 hour days for months turning that restaurant into a quite profitable venture. The restaurant was finally operating in the black after paying off massive bills that were outstanding when I took it over. I had just started earning some very nice paydays.

But I did not foresee the calamity that suddenly walked in the door. The owner came in with his lawyer at closing time, and my world was completely destroyed in one five-minute conversation. Enraged, I cursed him and threw the keys to the building in his face and stormed out into the night. BIG mistake. In my fury, I forgot to retrieve about $12,000 in the safe which should have been taken to the night depository at the bank that night!

When I realized first thing the next morning what a horrible mistake I had made, I jumped into my car and drove back to the restaurant. But just as I expected, the vault was empty. He had raided it the night before. I had no legal recourse. Quite unfortunately, I had already mailed several large checks to vendors that day, and now they were going to bounce.

Ten days passed. I consulted with a lawyer, hoping to find some recourse against the owner, as well as some way to deflect the checks to his account. Of course, the lawyer could offer no helpful solutions. One way or the other, I had to cover all those checks immediately. Otherwise, I would soon be hearing from the District Attorney in Houston and face criminal charges. The checks were pretty large, and by this time, they had already bounced, and the vendors were calling to collect.

Dixie and I both began fasting and praying. We asked God for help.

Both my parents, Dixie's parents and others voluntarily made financial sacrifices to help us. Because of their helpfulness, and by the grace of God, we were able to obtain enough money to settle the matter before a month had passed. It really was a miraculous salvation from a potential disaster. There are no words to describe the relief we felt when the whole ordeal in Houston was finally put to rest.

But the biggest reality is that our lives had been turned around by the nightmarish ordeal. God had to pulverize me to get my attention and force me to pay attention to Him again. Up to that point, I had been harder than steel against God. He broke that resistance. Mercifully.

Back to the Bible

I told Dixie and several others who were close to us that I utterly refused to make commitments of any kind to anybody or anything until I first got back into the Bible and found an absolutely Biblical course of action. I did not then, nor do I now, have one whit of confidence in religious movements. I do not trust religious trends or fads. They are almost always categorically wrong. Only men of God who carefully and meticulously follow the Word of God in prayer and fasting have any hope of doing the will of God. A true man of God HAS to get His instructions first-hand from God.

There HAD to be a will of God for my life, and once and for all, I wanted to find it. I was concretely determined NOT to blindly go back to anything that I came from. I refused to take up with anybody or anything just because it looked good or felt good. Religion had left a very bitter taste in my mouth. I only wanted God this time.

"This time," said I, "I am going to study until I find the perfect will of God for myself. I am not going to follow anybody or anything unless I know with absolute certainty that they are preaching and believing and doing things according to the Bible. No more following people with bright ideas. If it is not in the Bible, and if I cannot see it for myself, I am not going to do it."

I had just turned thirty-one years old. I felt like I had already lived several lifetimes. If I had been "the cat with nine lives," I felt like I had already spent eight of them. I had made the rounds of religion and the rounds of atheism. I did not want to waste another single day of my life on the wrong road.

From the day that we moved into that old house, Dixie and I made up our minds that we would both go on an extensive vigil of prayer and fasting and Bible study. We both wanted to seek God diligently in prayer and fasting for as long as our bodies would hold out. We fasted days and weeks at a time. When we had to, we ate just a few meals and then returned to our fast. That went on for four months.

At first, it was like climbing up the rough side of a high mountain. I had thrown away all my old Bibles and religious books two years earlier. We needed new Bibles. Grandma Raggio gave me a new Dake Bible and Commentary. Granny Thompson gave me a new KJV Thompson Chain Bible, and a Strongs Concordance that I had given to her many years earlier. We bought Dixie a new Thompson Chain Bible.

During those four months, I spent my days in the Church next door with my Bibles, the concordance, a dictionary and a large three-ring notebook. Dixie spent as much time as she possibly could in prayer and studying the Word. I read almost the entire Bible during those four months and made hundreds and hundreds of pages of handwritten notes on what I was learning.

Every day at noon, the local postman came by the Church and sat down on the porch to eat his sack lunch. He did not know that I was in the building, or that I saw him on the porch, but while I was inside the Church praying, I could hear him outside praying, too. He was praying in tongues. I learned months later that he was a Pentecostal preacher. I didn't know the significance of it at that time, but I definitely felt that God was sending him by there, because I felt strength when he was praying.

We were struggling with frustration. I wanted God to hurry up and show me the way. I wanted to know what the next move should be. Where do we go from here? What should I do?

One day, while I was reading in 2 Chronicles 20, I read the story of Jehoshaphat, the King of Judah. He and his people found themselves in Jerusalem surrounded by three enemy armies; the Moabites, the Ammonites and the people of Mount Seir. All three armies came to besiege and destroy Jerusalem. There was no way out of the city alive. They were facing a certain end.

King Jehoshaphat gathered the people together in the court of the Temple and made a prayer unto the Lord. As I read Jehoshaphat's prayer, I felt like he was praying exactly how I felt.

"O our God, wilt thou not judge them? for we have no might against this great company that cometh against us; neither know we what to do: but our eyes are upon thee." 2 Chronicles 20:12.

That was EXACTLY how I felt in those days.

I felt like everything in the world was against me. I felt that I was surrounded by a world that did not think right or live right. I did not know the way out.

At the age of twelve, God had called me to Himself. I could never again give myself to a secular lifestyle. I knew that I had to do His will from now on.

But I did not know at all what Dixie and I should do with our lives. I felt like Jehoshaphat's prayer was my prayer, "We have no might against this great company... neither know we what to do!"

I was extremely interested in how God would deliver Jehoshaphat.

I continued reading.

The Spirit of the Lord came upon a man named Jahaziel. He said, "Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's. ...Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you."

Jehoshaphat bowed his face to the ground, and all the people worshipped and praised the Lord with loud voices.

The next morning, they rose up early and began to move toward the wilderness of Tekoa. As they did, Jehoshaphat stood and admonished the people to believe in God and His prophets.

Then, "he appointed singers unto the LORD, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army."

When they began to sing and praise, "the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten."

So, in a nutshell, Jehoshaphat told the people to "PRAISE THE BEAUTY OF HOLINESS!" They did, and God smote their enemies!

I was glued to that phrase: "Praise the beauty of holiness."

As they praised the beauty of holiness, God miraculously turned their enemies against each other, and they were smitten!

It all seemed very magical to me. "Do you mean that if I will simply praise the beauty of holiness, God will deliver me from my enemies?"

Then what does this mean, "Praise the beauty of Holiness"?

WHY is the beauty of holiness so important that if I will praise it, God will deliver me from my enemies?

I did not know the answer to that question, but I made up my mind that I would find out the answer.

Those words lodged in my mind like a splinter in my finger. PRAISE THE BEAUTY OF HOLINESS.

That story sent me on a quest to know and understand what is so important about holiness.

I studied the etymology of the word HOLY.

HOLY means "set apart, sanctified, consecrated, dedicated, and peculiar."

Set Apart: This clearly speaks of SEPARATION from the world, the flesh and the devil. There should be a GAP between the Church and the World, NOT AN OVERLAP!

Sanctified: Made clean or holy, purified, hallowed, sacred

Consecrated: Made holy, devoted, ordained, set apart, held in high religious regard

Peculiar: As a treasured jewel, of great value because of uniqueness

I began to realize that God wants His people to be SEPARATE from all things that are wrong. He wants to isolate us from things that defile. He wants us to be precious in His sight. He wants us to be identifiably, distinctly different from the rest of the people in the world.

God's people are UNIQUE. We must not look, act, talk or walk like the world.

We are different. Holy.

I knew exactly where all that was leading. It was time for me to get rid of everything in my life that was displeasing to God.

It was time to NAME the things that I needed to set apart from.

You cannot SEPARATE if you do not know what you should separate from.

"[Jesus] gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from ALL INIQUITY, and purify unto himself a PECULIAR [treasured] people, zealous of good works." Titus 2:14.

"Ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light," 1 Peter 2:9.

Out of darkness, into the light. Away from darkness. Separated from darkness. Devoted to light.

I began considering and weighing out everything I knew about religion.

I had seen so many cheap imitations of the real thing being perpetrated on the masses. I saw cheap grace and easy-believism. I saw the name-it-and-claim-it, prosperity preaching crowd. I saw the Christian entertainment crowd, appealing to carnally-minded people who have no concept whatsoever of all that is in the Bible, or what it means to truly live a life for the glory of God. "Get all the blessings if you can without giving anything in return."

I knew that I could never go back to that. I must stay apart from it. I must be separate from such junk.

I read Hebrews 12:13 which said, "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord."

I concluded that statement was clear enough. Without holiness, I'm not going to see God. If I don't figure out what holiness is and get some of it, I'm not going to be saved.

Holiness alone cannot save you, but you cannot be saved without holiness. No matter what your other doctrines are, if you are not living a holy life, you are not going to see God.

Dixie and I talked about holiness regularly. She said to me, "I've been reading theses verses that say that a woman should not be adorned with gold and pearls and costly array. Do you think I should get rid of my jewelry?" Dixie's wedding ring was a $3,000 solitaire diamond, and she owned a lot of costume jewelry.

"What do YOU think?" I threw the ball back into her court.

"I think I'm going to get rid of all my jewelry," she said without any hesitation. She didn't wait. She went into the bedroom right then and there and gathered up all her jewelry and took it outside to the trash can. She found a jeweler who purchased her diamond ring for a few hundred dollars, and that was the end of that. Neither of us felt any reluctance to agree to that. I got rid of the little bit of jewelry that I had, too.

If God has a problem with gold, and pearls and costly array, then I do too.

Then she said, "What about the verse in the Bible that says a man should not wear that which pertains to a woman, or a woman that which pertains to a man?”

"What do YOU think?" I didn't think I had to answer that for her. I figured that she already knew. And she did. She boxed up every pair of slacks and jeans she owned, plus a lot of clothes that she decided just were not as modest as they should be, and threw them all in a dumpster. She didn't want anybody else to have them. She figured that if they were wrong for her, they were wrong for anybody else, too. So that was the end of that matter. She never put on another pair of slacks as long as she lived.

God does not want men and women wearing similar clothes. He wants women wearing distinctly feminine apparel, and men wearing distinctly masculine apparel. The UNISEX look, where men and women dress very much alike is the very thing that God did NOT want to happen.

When Dixie read the verse about a woman having "shame-facedness and sobriety," she threw away all her make-up. I never asked her or told her to do it. She never wore make-up again.

Now in the Church we were attending, those things were not considered wrong. Most of the ladies wore slacks. Most of them wore makeup and jewelry. So Dixie's choices put her a conspicuous position.

On top of all those changes, I began to be concerned about the effects that the television was having on our lives. One Wednesday evening, after I had been in the Church all day long praying, I came home for a while to change clothes in time for the Wednesday night Church service. As I walked through the living room, the television was on, and a program called "Charlie's Angels" was on. Charlie's Angels were three female private investigators. It was a highly sexualized show that was enormously popular at that time, but after being in prayer all day long, I was shocked by how it offended my spiritual state of mind. It seemed very evil. I turned the television off, and told Dixie that the television was full of junk. The following Saturday morning, I noticed some of the cartoons that our two boys were watching. They were heavily tainted with witchcraft and goddesses and people with supernatural powers. I really didn't like the messages that were being conveyed to my children by those programs.

Dixie and I had a talk about the television. It was a very nice piece of furniture, an entertainment center that we had spent a lot of money on. It had a record player and tape deck and extension speakers. But we felt like the television was filling our house and our minds and our children with a lot of perverse and evil things, and we decided that our home would be better off without a television. We were really tired of sin and Satan's devastating effects on our lives. We just wanted God. We wanted the devil out of our house.

I took the television to the nearest dumpster I could find and threw it in it. That was the end of that.

Now, I think it's important for me to put a disclaimer in right here, to make it abundantly clear to whoever may be reading this, that I am perfectly aware that we are not saved by the kind of works I have been referring to. I am perfectly aware that a person's clothes are not going to save him or her. Don't even make the charge. I know as clearly as anybody living that it is only the grace of God that saves us from our sins.

This has nothing to do with somebody being "holier than thou." That topic is a cheap, overworked cop-out has been used a million times by people who simply do not want to make the kind of changes that God requires of them. I refuse to evade the issue. I have dealt with every argument in the book on these issues over a period of decades. I have had enough.

I hear some folks screaming, “That’s salvation by works!!” Well, I’ve heard that argument, read all about that argument, and argued both sides of that argument. And I don’t believe it. Holiness teaching is NOT "salvation by works." Holiness teaching is NOT "LEGALISM!!" as so many demand. Holiness and separation from carnal, worldly things is obedience to the Word of God.

I want to be saved, and I am not unwilling to do whatever I am told to do. I don’t care what anybody else thinks about it. Sooner or later, everybody is going to polarize to one side of the issue or the other. This is the side I’m on, and I’m here by agonizing, thoughtful choice.

If there is any value whatsoever in my telling this entire story, it is to say that I have been around the block with these issues as thoroughly, as agonizingly, as painfully, and at as great a personal expense as anybody I have ever heard of.

I did not get my convictions out of a box of Cracker Jacks. I got them out of the Bible. God has called us to holy living. Holy living means "set apart unto God."

I do not believe that any of us are going to be saved by works. But IN EXCHANGE for the priceless grace of God, God clearly expects us to abandon our worldly and sinful pursuits. Shall we continue in sin because grace abounds? God forbid!

Our compliance with God's wishes for our holy living is the least we can do to RECIPROCATE for God's lavish mercies toward us.

Of all people who have ever received abundant grace, Dixie and I had certainly received abundant mercy. I have been as evil and demon-possessed in my day as any other sinner. But when God forgave me and set me free from all those snares, I became forever indebted to Him.

To whom much is given, much will be required. That’s what the Book says. Because God was so merciful to receive us, we owe Him anything and everything He asks for.

My convictions about some of these issues were seriously fortified when I remembered an experience I had in the advertising business in Houston.

I spent time working with a major ad agency in Houston - the Winius-Brandon Agency - that had all the McDonald's restaurant accounts in that area. I sat in an office with the account executive who was in charge of those local accounts. Behind her desk was an entire wall of bookshelves containing McDonald's manuals that defined, in thousands and thousands of pages, virtually every imaginable advertising scenario they would ever encounter.

I looked through some of those manuals. I saw tightly-controlled regulations that required all advertising to comply with their guidelines. Every item had to be within certain guidelines with regard to color, size, placement and a long list of eventualities. Every marketing piece ever produced had to be done in the strictest compliance with those regulations. You can do this. You can't do that.

There are many, many reasons why McDonalds demands compliance with their regulations. They have a very valuable brand to protect. They have enormous corporate liabilities. They need consistency in service, consistency in products, and consistency in everything. They want their customers to know who they are and what they stand for. They want every product ever sold to be consistently the same. They want their vendors to deliver consistent products. They want their marketing efforts to consistently deliver a pre-determined message that has been carefully thought-out and carefully planned.

What would you think if you ordered a McDonald's hamburger, and it came to you looking like something a bunch of 10-year-old boys had thrown together on a camping trip? You'd certainly think somebody must have lost their mind.

This whole concept is interpolated into the entire world of commerce. Wendy's, Taco Bell, General Motors, Ford, Chase Bank, you name it, it's got rules. And you can get fired if you don't comply with them.

Now, do you think that Almighty God has any LESS interest whatsoever in the identity, branding, appearance, behavior, conversation of HIS HOLY PEOPLE?

Do you think that Almighty God doesn't really care if we throw around four-letter words, or dress like a punk or a hippy or immodestly exposed?

Do you not think that God Almighty CARES if a man looks like a woman or a woman looks like a man?

How about the tattoos and body piercings and vulgar artwork on clothes?

So God doesn't care if we smoke or drink or tempt each other to commit perverted or immoral acts?

You'd better believe that He does!

Why on earth did God ever micromanage the nation of Israel with such strictness for hundreds of years? He literally drenched them in rules and regulations. Why? To demonstrate to the entire world what kind of people He created us to be, and to make a people for His name's sake.

Do you think the New Testament Church should be less holy, less set-apart, less identifiable, less consistent than Israel was in its day?

Jesus said that He would build a Church that the powers of Hell would not be able to prevail against. That's not a loose-knit, come-as-you-are, do-as-you-please Church we're talking about. It's a militant, highly-disciplined Church.

Anarchy and Christianity are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Chaos and disorder belong to Hell. God is a God of order, structure, and orderliness. He demands modesty, humility, unselfishness, sacrificial living, self-denial, and entire body of evidence to the world that His people are DIFFERENT.

PECULIAR - that is the word HE used. If we aren't peculiar when compared to the rest of society, we aren't in compliance. God intended for His people to stand out, to be identifiably different. God expects His people to refrain from identifying with the world's ways. From ancient times, He warned His people not to practice the ways of the heathen.

So, does this seem like a rant to you? Jesus wreaked havoc in the Temple because things were going on there that just didn't belong. Maybe it's time somebody had a tantrum about all the junk that has made its way into Christianity!

I say that God absolutely cares. I don't just think that. I can prove it again and again in the scriptures!

Enough said. Next subject.




Continue to:
Long Winding Road - Chapter 14
(Not yet published)

Return to:
Long Winding Road - Chapter 12
"Crash and Burn"